One of the bonuses (+) of being unemployed (-) is that I finally have time. Time to do anything I want (as long as it's cheap!).
Today it's pouring down rain and high winds and a dark gray day. I needed some basic groceries, so added on a whole bunch of other errands and drove gingerly into "downtown" area of my neighborhood - the rain was incredible!
After running the boring time consuming errands, I drove to the grocery store and pulled into a spot. I turned off the wipers, lights, and engine, and sat there with the classical radio station on and decided I would simply sit and think.
At first I felt a bit silly - aren't the other shoppers going to notice? But really, 10am at the grocery store in the pounding rain on a Tuesday, not many people coming and going. And I'm in a little teensy car between two monstrous SUVs.
So I just sat.
I thought about life, decided to avoid thinking about paying rent, and
decided not to panic about finding a full-time job again (I'm working
part-time at the moment), and decided also not to panic about ever
owning my own home. I thought of the vegetable garden I'd love to have,
the flowers I'll plant someday in my own yard, I thought about all the
chores to do at home, I thought about what I'll do if the drains are
still slow (my neighborhood plumbing is experiencing issues right now,
it's just so annoying).
Then I decided to not think (har har, yes, I know, easy for me to do!) and just observe.
I watched the river of water washing down the parking lot, the waves of rain water moving across the curve of the asphalt. I watched the rain increase, decrease, sputter out, start up again. It pounded down, the wind rocked the car, and then suddenly it changed to little spitty sprinkles and the starlings were out and about, only to be chased back to shelter when all changed back to stormy weather again.
I watched the raindrops fall slowly on pavement, or rapidly on built-up rainwater - the big SPLOOSH kind of raindrops that leave little rings. I heard it rattling down on the car or just hissing down softly.
I watched people dash to and from their cars, hating to get a single drop on them, or lazily wandering, not caring one whit if they got soaked (I'm one of those folks, a drip-dry kind of gal).
A man came by walking his two dogs, one miserable and head down, hating to put his feet in the water, drooping and dripping. The other was jumping around, biting at the leash, careening off in different directions, chasing raindrops, wagging his tail, and just so darn happy! A Zipcar came by and parked, taking up two spots.
A number of gulls were wheeling and diving in the sky above, playing in the wind and catching currents above the parking lot.
I finally got my belongings together and hopped out, got my one bag of groceries, got back in the car, and drove home through even harder rain, so hard that even the fastest wiper setting couldn't keep up.
It's such a joy to know that you are a) driving home, b) to a dry cozy house, c) where you can peel off the wet clingy jeans and sock and climb into pajamas and slippers, d) able to say "fergit this!" to the rainy windy stress-filled unemployed world and just crawl back in bed with the furry, purry kitty and take a nap. I love that I have time to enjoy falling asleep to the sound of rain on the roof, the wind rattling the stovepipe, and the cat perched on my hip purring and happy to be napping together.